Learning to be still....

For most of my life I have tried to fix things that I do not like. I am always quick to try and turn a situation around. I get told that my adoption is falling apart, I jump on a plane to Ethiopia to try and fix it! I get bad news about my nephew I run out and buy him the most expensive gift!!! Today there is no way to fix the fact that on May 18Th my court case (along with others) will not be heard. I have no way of changing this outcome and there is no expensive gift or plane ticket that will make the courts change what is happening in Ethiopia right now. To say that I am deeply saddened would not touch the emotions that I am feeling right now. Not only is it the cancelled court date, it's also the uncertainty of just how long it might possibly take to get this all cleared up--so worried. It's completely out of my control. For the first time ever I will have to face that I can't do a dang thing about this!!! I must be still...!

I think about the children that this new rule may help and I cling to the hope that for them life will be brighter. I pray for the day that the adoption world will be without corrupt people that prey on children and adoptive parents. Tonight I am also holding my two children a little more close to my heart knowing that I would not be feeling so much disappointment and sadness if they were not truly already mine. I am their mother.